13-11-2003  

 

 

SAID, ONCE, MADMEN, FILM-MAKERS, PASSERS-BY,

LOVERS, ANGELS AND WHO ELSE I DON’T KNOW

 

Kind memories straight from deeply misunderstood people

 

 

Said, once, the greatly acclaimed actor on stage, before dying and diving into

his very own audience: “I'm just a madman, draggin' my own feet, and scrapin' the thick surface... I’m waiting for my turn to cry but tears are no longer in my eyes

I confess my deep love but she says nothing but "it can't be true, why don’t you turn away and go to..."... It's all like walking through Space, just demanding Silence... roaring

Silence.... I have fallen in love again, and again it is to me the most stupid thing ever

done... I've been here and I've been there, but no-one is sitting in the middle.......

...maybe because the Earth and its population, friends and lovers, I'm not able

to see .... or just because my absurdly erratic nature has always prevented me from

being there.... I could have found death. But I could've found life, either.

And love. The one I've never had.

Or the one I won't ever have.

Only sleepy slowly gently dying on my (surrealistic) pillow.”

 

“Ehi, how many girls have you had, in your life?” – said, once, the passer-by

“Lots of girls and plenty of love, dear unknown friend. But only in my poetries.”

 

“Ehi – said, once, the madman – I split the second!!...”

“No – said the dead man – you have only split my life...”.

 

“Hey, darling, I’ve been crying rivers and oceans... you said you don’t love

me... Won’t you bring me, then, a clean handkerchief?...” – said once the

manic-depression-addicted-lover.

 

“...but... where am I, God...?” – said, once, the dead man angel.

God: “You’re in Heaven – very pleased to meet you.”

“... well, Mr. God... since I’m in Heaven, could you assure me I will find here

a woman who’s willing to love me?..., because, as you could see during my life

on Earth, no woman seemed to be disposal in falling in love with me........”

 

“My greatest talent?... – said, once, the “faceless actor” – “...well... I guess

whenever I fall in love: I ALWAYS fall in love with the wrong girl, usually

girls who already have their own, stable boyfriend.... It’s such a pity to have

such a damn talent.... Maybe Mother Nature, before conceiving me, made a big

mistake: I personally find, sometimes, it’s quite engaging to take advantage of

a specific natural-born-talent. But talent itself very often gets placed in the

wrong way, and you can’t do anything about it, unless you find a very original

solution, which is, of course, not “natural-borne”.

Why didn’t Mother Nature give me the right talent in the right place?... Why,

for example, didn’t she “engage” herself in giving me THE SAME talent, THAT

hugely useful one which can make me able to fall in love with the right girl in

the right place (and WITHOUT the usual boyfriend in the middle...)?...

 

Said, once, the erratic-quote-man: “Life to my eyes can be nothing but a little,

graciously flowers-fueled roundabout: all you see will be people, cars and

passers-by who go around it, then back again, whether they turn on right or on

left.... it’s somewhat an encompassing, romantic way to look at the madness or

gentleness that get shaped in order to create our existence. Very instructive indeed!!...”

 

My greatest tragedy?... – said, once, the famous old-fashioned long-haired beat

generation writer – “Whenever I declare my love to a girl and she replies

nothing but “oh... ok...” or (sarcasticly) “well... it’s really really

touching....”. More or less it’s a failure and most of times I have to go back

home totally misunderstood and torn. Nobody I know seems to realize I feel bad

and they (friends and acquaintances) seem not to take me as seriously as I wish

they did. You have to know, whenever I fall in love that’s only a huge waste of

time. Do not misunderstand me: I often get lonely and loneliness may turn into a

“dead end street”, alias: I, mistakenly (and quite often) take that path, and

till the very end of it I’m such a hopeful, charming and determined person: it’s

when I get there I realise I’m approaching that “very weird thing” called

“nowhere”, an extremely thin, weak line I have to constantly be aware of...

 

Said once the-great-late-drama-film-maker: “Whenever I’m in the process (and in

possess) of true creative ideas it’s like being pleasantly devastated by

hurricanes, floods and storms all of them assaulting me in the tiny space of a

mere second... It’s so hard and overwhelming to try to arrest and fight THOSE

unbelievable forces.... You get yourself totally involved in this truly flaming

process you don’t even have the time to breathe that, after another second, it’s

all over, leaving me with the same frustration of a love that won’t ever come

back to me anymore. Hundreds of thoughts in very short while.... and hundreds of

loves disappeared, gone tragically lost........

 

 

TELEMACO PEPE

 

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