26-04-2003
THROUGH
THE NIGHT ...
WANDERING
IN HAMMERSMITH GROVE ROAD
I
searched that path millions of times but now I still feel like a naked dismayed
boy
in the middle of the street, chased by criminals while in some side-street
house
they're making love, I can imagine the smell of a warm smile while here
outside
it's damn-dead cold, I'm scary and old, who knows if I make it home
and
come back to my dreams, all the city's neon-lights are about to die,
leaving
a-very-next-to-come raging machine, blood all the way around, a lot
of
music inside, surrounded by dead-sounds inside, here I decide to stop
for
a few minutes, my back against the wall, heavily gasping... I can see
a
very young, sweetly naive couple of university students making love
at
the bottom of this very narrow path, a heavy rain is falling on us but it's
no
annoyance, I know it's too late, I missed the nth bus, it's deep night,
passed
midnight and I've just realized I'll have to walk along these dirty
streets
all night long, I feel like being a angel expelled by Heaven and
now
finding a safe place to hide my sins and cover the long distance, it's
no
tragedy if I'm obliged to make love with all night's unsafeties and
dangers,
deformed faces I will run into, and chilling encounters maybe
I
will talk to... Prostitutes and their wimps are looking me up and down,
asking
me where I'm bound for, I keep walking straight ahead, no looking
back,
while fire and murders are countless and bodies are scattered and
thrown
against rubbish and garbage, all of a sudden a woman's air-splitting
scream
announces big danger, hovering between life and death will be
the
command, all the houses' lights are turned off, and now it's time
to
turn myself on, escaping from this mad fire burning louder and louder...
Rain
keeps falling, it gets colder and I need somewhere to hide my
nerves
and fall into parallel existences... I throw myself down into
an
old pub: heavy-drunkers, drifters and pirates-like blokes
are
sinking in illimited inches of vodka and maltese whisky........
weird
mixtures of colours highlight dirty stripteasing and
wild
boozing... I found myself against my will discussing with
old
sailor men once betrayed by their wifes... they lead a dead-end
street
existence and they do not care... they have racy life-style
and
do not take care of health or deep feelings............. One of
them
was supposed to be a "has-been", once-glorious footballer
fallen
in disgrace, once beloved and praised by the whole world,
now
ferociously despised and forgotten by the big audience..........
He's
used to weep on his empty bottle of Russian Vodka..........
for
sure its only reason left to hang onto..... then..... DEATH........
A
few minutes, and I get out of the pub, keeping roaming
along
Hammersmith Road, monster-faced-encounters
who
stare at my twisted expressions, they're puzzling and
wonder
but keep going straight ahead... leaving my
anxiousness
eating the sidewalks and cutting tens of
traffic
lights... Doped punks and drugged drop-out are
the
deformed lights of this gloomy, forbidden night.........
...
deviant youngsters try to fight with boredom
and
adult injustice, they're prisoners of dirty ideals
and
distorted visions... and they love speaking with
knifes
and arguing with rape and violence..............
Depravation
and commiseration, it's nothing more
than
a caleidoscope of harrowing stories of solitude
and
pompous statements of death, understanding, compassion
they're
waiting for, looney characters play their
incomprehensible,
inconceivable part, on an empty,
desolated
stage, in front of a non-existing crowd.........
singing
non-melodies..... or arguing with walls...........
I'm
getting closer to Hazlewood Park.... I walk
through
the darkened trees, and give up thinking
or
wave-dreaming.................and I fall into sweet
unconsciousness
and polished dreams............................
before
I'm forced to quit those sheer moments
of
golden silence and mellow atmosphere.............
Out
there the monsters still are greedy and
hungry............
they're coming again and seem
not
to spare my dazzling, affecting innocence......
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