16:05: SURRENDER: LAUGHS AT DISGRACE,
SAND KICKING MY FACE
16:05. Surrender. A dead body is laid down, my face filled with
red sand kicking dismayed eyes, flood of nightmarish thoughts rape my
I'm alone on the field, the battle is lost, and now long gone, all my
rich memories and full illusions for the title are vanished, leaving just
and nothing more. My mind has been torn and scattered and my
is going away with my last tears of anger and desperation... I hear
laughs and children's screams around my empty body, my hair
and my ego brutally stabbed; young and admiringly hopeful couples,
waiting for their sheer moment of engaging warmth, are on the
of striking passion and unashamed confessions, while I'm stuck on the
of humiliation, pathetically grasping unknown people's seconds
useless consideration, but all I've been receiving so far is despise and spits
on my still and
legs.... All I can see is red sand that keeps hurting my sight. What was
wild charisma yesterday, today is death and freezing indifference.
surrender for the King of Disilluded, who once
to approach glory and high acclamation... now I'm ignored and commisered.......
who were meant to chasing me, today are seen at the Top...
thinking of emptyness, declaring the absolute void, too sinful and vicious to
help, I can't move, I can't speak, I can't scream, I can't cry.
can't live. My will disintegrated, and my ideals all of a sudden
terribly wrong...... Hundreds of questions in a second, one over the other
demons attacking demons, and angels weeping on angels, the once-he-
wise-man is perished...ordinary fragments of madness.........
I am where I shouldn't be, here I am, a tiny, rarefied shadow in the
of a battlefield... Surrender, surrender again over my head.............
is a Goddess I need to fall in love with, Grief is the Devil who's inside me.
died today, because I was destined to. I simply swept to insanity, my
sweet, welcomed insanity, the only companion I have and, maybe,
only companion I'll ever possess.
more line for my contorted poem, one more second of stupid
let me believe or just let me wander here alone, soon I will crash
the overwhelming void of oblivion.
Circle is supposed to have terminated its width of cruelty and
visions, once again... my ego keeps bleeding and being squandered into
lines, lines no-one will be able to discern, I don't even have
strength of bursting this crime... my IMPOSSIBLE SENSITIVITY!!....
keeps whipping my coherence, enslaving my attitudes and
my endowments beneath the bars of a never-ending self-indulgence......
getting late... the evening is next to come. The whispering,
and restless crowd has gone, couples, families and friends
about to be reconciled. Here Hell is burning, revealing my
spoiled and dissonant, it all seems an orchestra gone mad with
the instruments out-of-tune.... Still those initial criminal thoughts
menacing to come back, announcing new injuries and
blood, new rage and fatal over-thinking.........
flashes are crossing my deep inside, I get blinded for
while and my will sporadically turns into an obscure cloud smacked dub into
centre of an immensively radiant blue sky.........
end-of-the-world-like hurricane is expecting to assault me............
for sure, I'll be riding on it....................................
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